To cap it all off

I was searching for the perfect subject for my last post of my year in France. And then, “pow,” it hit me.

It was yesterday, my last day in Dijon. I was on my last run through the parc de la Colombiere, and just musing over the concept of time (and asking myself how the heck I made it through the year…) when a man passed me on a bike. Of course, he would have been just an ordinary man if it wasn’t for the cap he was proudly sporting. That’s right…a Boston Red Sox hat. I was floored. I mean, sometimes I see New York Yankees hats because French people think they are “in” (rappers wear them…) but NO ONE wears Red Sox hats. It was a sign. Boston was calling.

I am currently sitting in the Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport with exactly 2 hours left before my plane takes off, before I leave France, before I once again pick up where my life in the states left off. I know that there will be adjustment period, and of course feelings of sadness from the lack of French in my life. But I’m ready. I’m ready to settle back down, ready to end this rather crazy and life changing journey. I thank all of you for your support, and for reading my blog this year. I had such a fun time writing it…it was a great way for me to vent my anger, share my experiences, and express my happiness. Can’t wait to see all of you back in the good ole US of A,

Love and “gros bisous”
Kate

The Happy Post

So I talked to my mother on Skype today, and she thought I have recently been too much of a downer when I write. So to change it up, I'm going to write a happy story.

Once there was a fish named Toby* who was very handsome. He was red with a swishy tail. He had a lot of friends, and he knew how to juggle.

One day, he saw his friend Bob the hermit crab crying in the corner. "Why are you crying Bob?" Toby asked. "Because I just baked a bunch of seaweed cookies and they all burned," Bob replied. "Well there's no use crying over burnt cookies! Let's bake some more!" Toby exclaimed! And for the rest of the day Toby and Bob had a great time baking. They enjoyed it so much when they got older they opened a restaurant and hosted a TV show on Not-So-Crabby Crabcakes Network. Both were huge hits. Bob and Toby ended up successful and rich, but best of all they had each other as best friends.

THE END

*I have in fact dedicated this story to the real Toby, who recently died of old age. RIP.

I hope that cured the "downer" vibe on the blog! Now I'm going to cry some more about my homesickness and study for my two tests tomorrow.

The disease

I know why it is called homesickness. It’s because like a cold or the flu, the only time you forget that you’re sick is in your sleep. Otherwise, you are tormented. Whatever you do, it runs you down. It exhausts you. It presses on your chest, you can feel it in all your bones. Your stomach is constantly tight. Yet thankfully there is a cure. My medicine is going home. I am done with my French life. I’m fed up with Josette, I miss my sisters, I miss Kimballs, I miss playing golf and riding my bike, I miss the family I babysit for, I miss TJMaxx, I miss signs in English, I miss cooking. I was listening to Tom Petty while writing a paper, and I started whimpering - in a month I will be with Greg at a Tom Petty concert. It’s difficult because I see the end. I have two papers to write and an exam, and then I’m done. It’s just like the end of the year at Holy Cross. The weather is gorgeous, you just want study period to end, pack up and go home. There is one thing that separates you and your family. Time.

Life as a Dandelion Fluff

Today after my run in the countryside I was walking along the lane, where there were many dandelion fluffs. I picked one and started to blow, watching the hundreds of little seeds with their white umbrella hats floating through the air. I started to imagine what life would be like to be a dandeline fluff. To have one voyage in life, one solo flight in which your whole existence is leading up to. You are vulnerable to the girl that comes to blow you away, or the breeze that sweeps you up, forcing you to leave the one home you know. You could be brought miles away, or simply few centimeters. People are like dandelion fluffs – we too are vulnerable to fate, to life, to death. I am waiting for my flight back home, but when that will happen I am at the moment unaware. Yet I wish that I too had a white umbrella hat!

Josette

I leave chez Josette in two weeks. So in looking back, I will honestly say that this year has been difficult with her. From the beginning I wanted things to work. I wanted to please her, I wanted her to open up to me, I wanted to truly become part of the family. You would think after 9 months that would happen. But no. Even this past month has been difficult – if I come home late at night and go up the stairs, the light sleeper will wake up and yell at me the next morning (remember, her house is old and the stairs creak!) I once threw out half an apple, and when I came downstairs later, it was on the counter. She proceeded to tell me that I do not think and I waste food. She’s told me I’m dim, I’ve been raised poorly, I’ve gained weight, I have a bad temper. She’s yelled at me for snacking, for leaving my shoes in the hallway, for not keeping my room clean, for leaving the lights on. Perhaps I wanted to prove to myself from the beginning that I could do it – that I could succeed living with a woman who was so foul, so hard to manage, so cold. There have been times when it’s been better, when I’ve felt more at ease. And yet when I look back, things could have been different if I changed houses. I could have found a family who didn’t interrupt me when I spoke, cared about what I was saying, and encouraged me with my French instead of commenting that I’ve gotten worse (?!?!?). I could have wanted to come home and chat, I could have gone on trips with them. I don’t regret my decision, but I do wish that I didn’t have to try so hard with my living situation.

chez Josette = Josette's house

Faces

I walk around Dijon and I see faces of people in the States. I see the holy cross students, I see my best friend, I see my family. I don’t know if it’s because I miss them and so I’m searching for them around every corner, the images of my loved ones are pushing out of my eyeballs or because life is beginning to blend with my life in the sates. Either way, I cant wait to see the real people!